Before I digress, first and foremost: Happy Back to School, all! Teachers, administrators, parents, and of course, students – I’m looking at you.

This year marks my 18th year since starting my career in education. *Please don’t do the math*. And if you take away the last two years of child-rearing leave and learning how to mother my son, then I guess you can say 16 years. Yes, 16 sounds better. We’ll go with that.

This year I made the decision to go back to school. To be honest, when I returned last summer to clean out my classroom, I never thought I would go back. A decade and a half of fighting the good fight ran me ragged. And then Covid…you can guess the rest. I fell so head-over-heels in love with my baby that I didn’t care that I was throwing away my entire life as an educator. I was ready for a life at home as much as I rallied against it before.

They’re right, whoever “they” are. Having a baby changes you, more than you can ever imagine.

Roux completes me. In every way. But there is the other part of me that wakes up when you mention teaching. I’ve never stopped following along, reading articles about teachers and education, literacy and technology. It’s this pulse in me, always beating, always there. Silly of me to think that I could ignore that pulse and change course after two decades of making it the center of me. So here I am, back at school.

I’ve left the traditional classroom and am finally using my Master’s degree at Syracuse University in this new position – I’m in the role of a secondary Instructional Coach with a focus on data and technology integration (my deepest passion). This new role is turbulent and ambiguous and the only thing I care about is being a resource to all of my fellow teachers – it’s a role I need to define and navigate but I can’t wait to get up each day to do so. When I say I’m living the dream? I really am.

But today going back to school hit differently. And it wasn’t until I got home tonight and broke down to Scott in tears that I finally understood why. I’m a mother now. And when I toured the elementary school in my district, watching teachers in action with these tiny little babes going off for the first time (or second or third) away from the familiar – I saw Roux’s face in each little person. All of the sudden “school” and education took on an entirely new meaning. I’m not here just hoping to affect change in my own classroom for my own students – I saw firsthand what is on the line for teachers and school districts everywhere. Today I felt the weight of a teacher and a mother combined – the responsibility as a teacher with students in my care, and the mother in me hoping that one day these adults would look out for the best interest and growth of my son to the best of their ability.

Damn. What a heavy lift.

Education does not exist strictly in the capacity in which we experience it – I realized that fully today. Today my heart felt for every single person across the nation, across the globe, that is directly affected by this field. The mothers letting go of their child’s hands, the child entering into school with fears and hopes and dreams, the teachers that have the job of helping every human heart in their care to realize their full potential, and the administrators that sit in anguish of every decision that is made in their district.

If you ever think for one minute that the weight of the world can’t be felt in the life of education….think again.

We must do our epic best. For our kids, for their parents, for an entire society of people who rely on the foundations that are taught in our schools.

So, I’m back at school – and tomorrow I get to cover the 12th grade PIG/government classes. Wish me luck.