I’m becoming more convinced by the day that a memo went out to all of our friends informing them that 2014 is the year to get engaged.  The term “dropping like flies” seems to be an understatement this year, and is going to lead to a very full 2015 of weddings.

I’d like to start a sentence off with the word “marriage”, but I’m immediately taken to the scene from Princess Bride where the clergyman says “Mawage!” We got talking about what goes into the decision to get married and what couples should consider before making the leap of faith.

Since we are not married (or engaged for that matter) here is our list of 11 topics to discuss before getting married:

1. Often a deal breaker, whether or not you want to have kids is important. Plenty of couples are happy never having children, but others long for the pitter patter of little feet. If one of you is not too keen on this topic but the other is having those daydreams, you might be running into an issue.

2. What’s your number? Though it’s not an easy topic, sharing insights into your previous relationships can prove significant to your future one. Not only should we share our pasts triumphs and shortcomings, it’s important understand and accept each other. The key is to not dwell on the past.

3. Money. Many of us have large monthly payments; from student loans to credit debt, there is no reason to be embarrassed and no reason to keep this a secret from your significant other. Eventually they will find out, and it’s likely to cause an issue even if it wouldn’t have been initially.  Beyond the topic of debt, discuss a joint checking/savings account or even who is in charge of what bills. Again, these topics that are just easier addressed up front rather than waiting.

4. You may love the area you’re in now, but where do you want to end up living? You might have family elsewhere or possibly a great job opportunity available if you head to another state. The hope is that you’ll both agree on where you want to live, but talking about the topic before you actually have to make the decision might be beneficial in the long run.

5. Do your parents hate me? The relationship between both your friends and family with your significant other could add a lot of unnecessary stress to a relationship. Between holidays and other events that could see your significant other interacting with family and friends, you probably want to make sure everyone can get along. Remember the most important thing is that you love your mate, but knowing there are issues with family and friends could cause issues down the road.

6. Oh God! Things you don’t talk about in a bar but do talk about before getting married are religion and politics. Do you want to get married in a certain church? Raise your children with a certain religion? Planning to convert to another religion after marriage? These are all questions that need answers before taking the next big step. If your religion is something you want your significant other involved in too, it’s time to talk it all out.

7. Communication and dealing with issues is extremely important. It’s mature to not pick little things to argue about, but if you haven’t reached a point in your relationship where you haven’t even had a healthy “debate” the question needs to be asked if you’re always giving in and not getting back.

8. What are your career goals? In short, the answer to this can also affect many other things. It’s important to know and understand what both of you want out of your professional lives, but also learning ways you can be supportive in achieving their goals.

9. Is couch shopping really this difficult? We’re in the middle of purchasing our first large item together – a couch. Height, width, comfort, and appearance are all things we’re considering and it isn’t easy. That said, making joint purchases are important. You’re both investing in an item that will be owned by the two of you for a long time to come. Making a purchase like this before taking the plunge is a good idea, as it might be indicative of the larger purchases (a house? car?) in the future.

10. After you get married are you going to have the same last name? Even though this might seem obvious, we’ve seen a growing number of people choosing to keep their individual last names after marriage. No matter what you decide this is a topic to approach before marriage.

11. The most important thing we could think of is the crucial question, do you want to get married? The easiest and most obvious question always seems to be the one we don’t even think about. Is the person you’re marrying the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, or are you doing something because you think it’s expected? Have you expressed to them what you want from a marriage, and are they the one who can give it to you?

For those of you married, been married, getting married, or just dating what do you think about this list? Is there anything we missed?

-Scott