We don’t have children, so parents out there – feel free to call us crazy while reading this. People continue to ask if we are intrested in a future with little ones, and we carefully dance around the topic. However, we have been thinking about it and why we are so darn scared. This isn’t a list to convince people not to have children, but rather a list of all the things you hear or personally think when you see a child in the neighboring shopping cart screaming.

Here is a list of the reasons that make us believe we’re not ready for children:

1. It takes me between 6-8 months to schedule a doctor’s appointment. How will I ever remember to to set one up for another person?

2. We don’t have enough time for all the visitors who would want to come stay with us after the birth.

3. We don’t know enough people to take care of them when we try to sleep.

4. Wait- they don’t have the same sleep pattern as me?

5. We have children already -their names are Ivan and Miah.

6. We seem to throw our backs out just by waking up in the morning, how are we ever going to be able to pick up a child?

7. Babies cost money, right? Well we don’t have any of that.

8. Not sure I’ll be able to handle all the food cravings. You know, I’m feeling like another piece of chocolate cake.

9. I’ve heard the process of birth hurts. Big time.

10. When hearing a child screaming in the mall the only thought that crosses our mind is “not having children”.

11. I’m not even convinced I can take care of myself.

12. If I say “stop crying” they listen immediately right?

13. How am I going to help them with algebra when I don’t remember remember what x+y equals?

14. We both work, is there free childcare?

15. Wait, I have to carry this child for 9 months?

16. On that topic does anyone else find it crazy that a human will be growing inside of you?

17. Children are really cute, and then they puke on your new shirt.

18. You’re guaranteed to get peed on.

19. I really don’t like getting sick, so morning sickness isn’t appealing.

July-7

All of this being said when you hold a newborn baby things always seem to change. Tell us: how DO you know when you are ready?

-Al and Scott