DCengagement3-9

When Are You Getting Married??

Oh that. Right. About that…

If you recall, after spending a few months on the farm last summer working on clearing land with my Dad, Scott and I set the date for August 6th, 2016.

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And then a month or so later, backed out.

We had decided on an intimate-vintage-chic-summer-pond wedding. It was convenient; as a teacher I would be on summer break, and doing it at home on my childhood farm ensured a sentimental approach.

We booked a photographer, started creating our mood boards on Pinterest, and even looked into honeymoons in August.

And then somewhere in mid-September, the idea of the wedding became a hassle, a point of contention, and plain NO FUN to talk about. Thrown back into our city-life and the stress of a new school year, we stopped discussing plans. And then we realized that the reason we weren’t having fun was that the wedding was becoming something that didn’t represent who we are as a couple – AT ALL.

Scott and I are spontaneous, quirky, and couldn’t imagine checking off all the boxes of a traditional wedding. We never wanted to get married in the summer, but since it was easy and made sense, we forged ahead.

Instead of falling victim to the show of the wedding, we decided to take a step back and take time to think about what we truly want to start our marriage. Who knows? Beach in the OBX, saying “I do” at 11:59 on New Year’s Eve, or spontaneous nuptials at a random BBQ have all been considered. Whatever we do, we want it to be less about the tradition of a wedding, and ten times more about the importance of our marriage.

So, for now, we have no clue about when or where the wedding will be. And we love it that way. Being engaged to this guy has been the best time of my life, and someday getting married will be a perfect way to celebrate having found my forever love. In the meantime, we’re going to keep dating and running around this incredible city – eating, drinking, laughing.

How did you decide to plan your wedding? What choices helped create the occasion for you?

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16 Comments

    1. […] been engaged for 2 whole years, which is something we didn’t expect. Though our plans for a summer 2016 wedding changed, we have a feeling that this next year will bring about a change in our relationship […]

    1. My second barrel of Maker’s Mark bourbon, has matured. I had such a great time visiting Laretto, KY and dipping my own bottles in red wax! After my first barrel matured I was elevated to “Senior Embassador.” Not sure what the next level is but maybe I’ll be ordained and I can marry you two on the grounds of the distillery? Hope you like bourbon.

      1. We absolutely love bourbon! How cool. :)

    1. Do you want to get married in the city? I did a little prior work with http://popwed.co in DC. See if that’s what you’re looking for. They were fun, relaxed, and all about the couple.

      1. This looks awesome – thanks for the link!!

    1. Elope. Do it. OR, tell your like, 5 must have people a date in the future, and take them WITH you to elope. You will so not regret it. This sounds horrible, but I kinda (seriously) wish we’d done that. SO MUCH EASIER.

      1. We are definitely leaning that way for sure…Hope all is well doll!! xoxo

    1. Thanks for clearing that up. I was trying to come up with a polite way of asking. This year will mark John and my Silver Anniversary. We chose our wedding date based on my very dear friend’s having the last week of October off of school. (She too is a teacher) Easier for her to be a bridesmaid. The date wasn’t important — the marriage was.
      Spent Halloween in the Vurgin Islands. So lovely.

      1. We figured it might be on everyone’s mind :) Silver anniversary – congrats!!! And what an awesome way to spend Halloween, I’m taking notes over here…

    1. That’s awesome. I think I’ll most like have the same approach when I’m at that point. I don’t understand people who try and throw together weddings in ~6 months just because why not? If it’s for a reason like having a certain family member there, then I totally understand. Glad you guys are appreciating your time together and not feeling pressured by any thing or anyone else. Congrats!

      1. Thanks, Alanna! I don’t get why people do that either, but having been in that moment a long time ago, I guess it makes sense. With Scott, we just want it to be as genuine as possible, so we shall see… Hope you are settling into the windy city nicely! xo

    1. Girl. I totally get it! When I was planning a traditional wedding, it all felt like work. It felt wrong! Granted, some of that was because it was the wrong guy. But more than anything, it’s because the traditional wedding was not US as a couple. After thinking about it longer, the questions I decided were most important in planning a wedding were “Do we want a wedding? Or do we want to get married? Do we need a wedding to get married?” I decided then that I don’t need a wedding to get married. When I find the person I want to spend forever with, the most important part will be getting legally married to that person so we can be afforded the rights of a married couple. Maybe we’ll host a party. Maybe we’ll exchange vows in a church. But if it doesn’t feel right to stress about that stuff, I will be perfectly content with a signed piece of paper from the court house.

      1. So glad to hear this, love it when I’m not alone on the whole thing! Wrong guy does make a difference ;) But I think at the end of the day, just calling Scott my husband will mean the world. Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts!! xoxo

    1. We said sometime next summer but have no clue anything else. Ugh too much work for everyday life right now. I do expect an invite and I will be the first to buy a plane ticket!! ;) <3 you Al, I will respond to your email today. I don't know how I missed it a few weeks back.

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