We make it no secret that Scott and I have had previous relationships that meant a great deal. Moving in together meant that we both had to let go of the shadows of our past relationships out of respect for each other. Everyone has their own opinion on what is acceptable to keep when moving in, but we followed our own guidelines…
It’s Ok to Keep:
Furniture and other generic items (kitchen gadgets, appliances, etc)
Clothes (as long as it isn’t a constant reminder)
Yearbooks, which may include “ex” messages
Collectibles – gifts that are important to us as an individual, but not the past couple
CDs & DVDs
Things You Can’t Keep:
Clothing belonging to the ex
Is it OK? …..
Special photos you are both in?
Box of “couple” memorabilia?
We actually both have disposed of pictures, memorabilia, and gifts received from “exes” – simply because we feel these things are impediments to our own relationship. Though we are confident of our feelings, we don’t feel the presence of those items are positive reminders of the past, and we are satisfied with the personal and private memories we keep.
We have had open conversations about our past, and believe that communication dispenses all fears of the unknown. But moving in together presented that “physical” memory conversation, and we were able to come to terms that worked for the both of us.
What worked for you?