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Dealing with Relationship Baggage

We make it no secret that Scott and I have had previous relationships that meant a great deal. Moving in together meant that we both had to let go of the shadows of our past relationships out of respect for each other. Everyone has their own opinion on what is acceptable to keep when moving in, but we followed our own guidelines…

It’s Ok to Keep:

Pets :)

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Furniture and other generic items (kitchen gadgets, appliances, etc)

Clothes (as long as it isn’t a constant reminder)

Electronics

Yearbooks, which may include “ex” messages

Collectibles – gifts that are important to us as an individual, but not the past couple

CDs & DVDs

 

Things You Can’t Keep:

Engraved items

Sheets/Bed

Clothing belonging to the ex

Personal gifts

Jewelry

Mixed Tapes

 

Is it OK? …..

Special photos you are both in?

Box of “couple” memorabilia?

 

We actually both have disposed of pictures, memorabilia, and gifts received from “exes” – simply because we feel these things are impediments to our own relationship. Though we are confident of our feelings, we don’t feel the presence of those items are positive reminders of the past, and we are satisfied with the personal and private memories we keep.

We have had open conversations about our past, and believe that communication dispenses all fears of the unknown. But moving in together presented that “physical” memory conversation, and we were able to come to terms that worked for the both of us.

What worked for you?

-Al

 

More about Al

3 Comments

    1. I have heard it said “more mystery, less History”
      Would you agree?

    1. I think it’s totally healthy to let go of those physical reminders. It’s hard enough having the memories sometimes. The hard part is figuring out what to do with all of the super awkward (digital) pictures

    1. I seriously think you’ve found your “perfect” match.. Now I just need to bring millie to meet you both in person and of course my two favorite dogs, Ivan and Miah of the blog world too. xoxo

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