Last night, I sat in the car and cried.

Scott and I had just returned from our “last” DC date night, and I was already overwhelmed, exhausted and emotionally fragile. Our evening was everything we wanted it to be, but as we pulled into the garage and the night was over, all of the tears I had bottled up from every “goodbye” since June erupted, and I was left a heap of a girl, crying ugly tears all over Scott’s white shirt.

I’ve said a lot of goodbyes in the last ten years. This past decade has been tumultuous at best, and it seemed my goodbyes far outweighed the hellos. Farewells to students, friends, colleagues, family, Miah – too many to count.  And in time, I have become harder and more resilient with every round, and in many ways I discovered how to enjoy my present without ever fully attaching to any of it.

But this life got to me. It got past the reservations, the red flags, the walls that I created because I knew that someday I would probably have to leave it, too. I indulged in every part of it – the history, the flavors, the sights and sounds of too many cars and warm flurry of activity that accompanies every street in this town. It’s infectious, this life here. The more people we met and adored, the more we wanted to meet. Every new restaurant, no matter how good, had us hungry for the next.

This life is fast and furious and glorious.

But in that fury we realized that life is meant to be lived –  not spent. There must be a balance where you feel satiated from your every day, not depleted by the whole of it. We were sustaining ourselves on activity, allowing the tide of DC and Alexandria to carry us away, always pulling us in different directions.

And though we have made a choice that we know is right, it’s hard to say goodbye to the people and places that defined the last three years of our life. Everywhere we go we see a friendly face, and this amazing city opened its arms and welcomed us in every possible way.

This week we’ve been repeating “the last” – the last Monday, the last walk through Old Town, the last DC dinner, the last Friday morning. But the most exciting part of this entire move will be tomorrow night, when we can finally say…

“This is our first night at home.”