EngagedDC-16

Wedding Planning: Making the List and Checking it Twice

After getting engaged last October, most of our wedding planning has revolved around conversations rather than concrete plans. Like many of you, we’ve found that the initial conversations revolve around the larger topics rather than figuring out centerpieces and stationary.

We’ve put a lot of weight on the where. There’s our hometown in New York or the place we now call home in Alexandria. One would get more of our family to attend, while the other would be easier for our friends. A completely different plan and set of desires accompanies each location as well. Rather than beating our heads against the table on this topic we decided to start with making the list of who we’d want to invite.

Our first step in creating the list was separating it into two different sizes – the larger wedding and the smaller more intimate celebration. We started by making individual lists of “our people”. I grew up in a very large family, even before you consider non-first cousins or family friends. Our basic-first draft list came to around 75 people.  The possibility of a small-intimate 50 guest wedding is seemingly going out the window.

As we tried to get off the topic of where we’d get married we found ourselves right back in that spot. If we decided to get married in the Washington, DC area there’s a good chance not all of our New York family would be traveling. It’s easy to imagine the number being considerably higher if it’s easy for everyone back in New York. We’re left with the question of whether to make our list or pick a location first.

As we continue to look at states and venues we’ll continue to look at how many people each can accommodate. At this moment, I think we’re looking at a late summer or fall wedding depending on the location (in 2016). Making the decision on the location might turn out to be something we need to do before taking the next step.

How difficult was it to create your wedding list? Did you also struggle with proximity to family vs. friends?

Let us know.

Scott

More about Scott

2 Comments

    1. My parents really liked the idea of a Louisiana plantation type wedding but my husband has a HUGE family (mine on the other hand 12 people) and that would have put the guest list in the 200+ and cost a fortune in food and drinks. So we did DC to limit how much of his family would make the trip. If we’d had it in France though, I don’t think any of his family would have made it at all so that was out too…

    1. My two cents for what it’s worth, pick your location first. Location is in your control, who can attend is not. Pick the location you can picture getting married at. We made our guest list of the people we absolutely knew we wanted to invite, then our 2nd and 3rd lists. As it turned out, even with a local wedding many on our first list couldn’t attend. Chances are there is actually a very small list of family/friends that you “need” there, the ones you can’t imagine getting married without their presence. They are the ones you’ll spend most of the night with and regardless of which location or date you choose, those select few will be there. If an aunt or cousin or friend can’t make it, you won’t remember it in the future. But you’ll always remember the walk down the aisle and where you had your first dance, etc.

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